I had the joy of spending the day with one of my best friends, my mom. Ill admit I originally planned just a short quick trip to get some stuff, and a girls lunch. However, it turned into a lovely day of shopping and chatting. Ill admit I did push myself a little too far, ok way past my limit. Hey, I was having fun. As soon as I got home I napped for a bit, but now the insomnia is BAAACCCEKKK.. Ugh. So here I sit.
I did learn a few things today. Im scary awesome on a scooter/ hover round thing at Target. That and there is about a 2 hour battery life on one of those bad boys. :) Those things are a life saver to getting around. I did manage to not hit anything, but there was a lot of me telling people 'sorry!'. I luckily didnt hit anyone or take any displays out. Although I was very very close. Without the scooter I wouldnt have been able to make the trip.
The curse of Target was upon me thought. Go in needing/wanting a couple things and out with a carful! My big dissapointment was that they were sold out of my new found favorite Pumpkin M&M's. Apperently the ONLY place you can find tham is Target, and my target is COMPlETLY out. UGH. Im going to totally stock up as soon as they get more. They had better be prepared this time Dang it!
After that, we had a nice girls lunch. Im such a slow eater due to my throat I think the waitress thought I was nuts. I then managed to convince my mom to take me to a store without a power chair, or wheelchair. (remember not walking so well, sometimes cant walk much at all... and my wheelchair will be here any day now that we ordered) Ill admit that me walking around a store isnt the best ideas. I did get around well thanks to my aunts cane she brought over to let me borrow ( from when she had surgery). My point is I got out! I managed okay, with the help of my mom. I want to make sure to try to push myself. Mini workout. I cant just sit and wither away. If I can walk Im gonna walk. I found a new headscarf or two, and got some things to keep me busy while at home in my chair. All in all it was a good, fun, productive day.
Now I sit here tired, but cant sleep. Thank you meds. I never thought weaning off medication would cause me to not sleep. Granted my late afternoon nap likely didnt help. I dont care. It was totally worth hanging out with my mom today. Now to attempt sleep....good night all.
September 30, 2013
September 29, 2013
Sleepless
Argh! Im so tired of being tired. Im back to a crazy sleep schedule. I dropped into bed at 8pm and was up at 2am ready to go. Some sleep is better than none. Now for the life of me I cant fall back asleep once up. Luckily, Im able to take naps during the day. It just stinks not being on a 'normal' sleep mode. Dark= sleep in my house.
I think it has to do with the changing of my meds. We are dropping finally off the steroids, so my boday is having to adjust again. I had gotten to the point of sleeping on steroids (if you remember they originally caused insomnia, oh the irony). So Soon I should even back out into a normal sleep pattern.
Other than that Im doing okay. My newest found side effect is my tender feet. Its like Im walking on stones all the time. Its a common effect of the Z. It should go away in a few days. Im still unable to walk very far at all. Im also very shaky still. To clear up, my hands shake pretty bad. Its interesting to see me write or hold some things. Heck I also cant really lift anything. I made a pitcher of tea, then realized I couldnt get it in or out of the fridge. :) Add one more thing for my hubby to fetch me.
So that is where I am as of today. My body 80 yrs old, mind 28. My mood is good. I tell my husband I feel all this energy!! But no real outlet hahaha. So poor guy gets his ears talked off, while I crochet or do whatever....(in between my naps).
Hope you all have a beautiful Sunday! Hope the Game didnt depress anyone too bad...poor Hogs we suck.
I think it has to do with the changing of my meds. We are dropping finally off the steroids, so my boday is having to adjust again. I had gotten to the point of sleeping on steroids (if you remember they originally caused insomnia, oh the irony). So Soon I should even back out into a normal sleep pattern.
Other than that Im doing okay. My newest found side effect is my tender feet. Its like Im walking on stones all the time. Its a common effect of the Z. It should go away in a few days. Im still unable to walk very far at all. Im also very shaky still. To clear up, my hands shake pretty bad. Its interesting to see me write or hold some things. Heck I also cant really lift anything. I made a pitcher of tea, then realized I couldnt get it in or out of the fridge. :) Add one more thing for my hubby to fetch me.
So that is where I am as of today. My body 80 yrs old, mind 28. My mood is good. I tell my husband I feel all this energy!! But no real outlet hahaha. So poor guy gets his ears talked off, while I crochet or do whatever....(in between my naps).
Hope you all have a beautiful Sunday! Hope the Game didnt depress anyone too bad...poor Hogs we suck.
September 26, 2013
The Faces of Cassandra
Cancer obviously takes a toll physically on a person. A lot of women have a hard time with the vanity of it all. I actually haven't minded some of the side effects as much as other women. Hair loss for example?? I miss my hair, but after going blade 2x in a year the perks are kinda nice. (look at the upside, cute scares, hats, less shower time...) However, I do have my little vain moments. Like how the steroids and drug treatments swell my face up to huge proportions. Some days its really really bad. Some hours its normal then the next 20 minutes POOF! Fat face. The fat face is the one part of this cancer thing that drives me personally up the wall. Sadly there is nothing I can do about it. Just take it and move on. To help myself process a bit I thought I would show you the 'Progression of Cassandras Face'. To give some perspective.
A fun fact to keep in mind. My overall body weight has not changed picture to picture. This is solely my face, and what the drugs do.
Enjoy...
A fun fact to keep in mind. My overall body weight has not changed picture to picture. This is solely my face, and what the drugs do.
Enjoy...
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| Taken 2011 |
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| Wedding Day! Aug. 2011 |
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| 1 week post Baby May. 2012 |
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| Election Day! 2012 (we voted)- On Steroids here post 1st Brain Operation. |
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| Beach July 2013. |
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| Aug 2013 on Steroids |
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| September 2013- BBBQ (Photo Courtesy of Angel Arms) Full fledged Steroids....Fat face. |
September 25, 2013
Great NEWS!
We got our scans back today. ALL of the brain tumors shank!!! I could shout from the roof tops. All of it is due to the whole brain radiation.
Now we still have obstacles ahead. The new drug 'Z' we are still taking. It will also hopefully help slow, or reduce the tumors. We are going to rescan me in 4 weeks to check on all my fun tumor buddies. I do still have it in my bones, tummy, and neck. We wont know how those are doing until next scans. Those were on the back burners anyway.
They said that my weakness in my legs and all those side effects may be permanent. Its one of those "you have cancer in your brain, its part of it" situations. Heck, at this point Ill take it. Where the tumors are explains why my legs etc are doing what they are doing. Ill take it with stride. We are getting a wheelchair so I can get around, we will make do.
So to sum it up. We are very very very happy. This has bought us who knows how much time. We now know where we stand.
Now we still have obstacles ahead. The new drug 'Z' we are still taking. It will also hopefully help slow, or reduce the tumors. We are going to rescan me in 4 weeks to check on all my fun tumor buddies. I do still have it in my bones, tummy, and neck. We wont know how those are doing until next scans. Those were on the back burners anyway.
They said that my weakness in my legs and all those side effects may be permanent. Its one of those "you have cancer in your brain, its part of it" situations. Heck, at this point Ill take it. Where the tumors are explains why my legs etc are doing what they are doing. Ill take it with stride. We are getting a wheelchair so I can get around, we will make do.
So to sum it up. We are very very very happy. This has bought us who knows how much time. We now know where we stand.
September 24, 2013
Scan Day
Today was the day we went in for a new MRI. This is our 6 week out from whole brain radiation scan. We had a scan 3 weeks ago, but it was hard to read etc. Tomorrow we will find out the results of todays scan. Hopefully, it will be a much clearer image. It should also show us any progression of whats going on with my tumors. (shrink, grow etc) Its really going to help us with a timeline.
Other than that Im doing as okay as can be expected. Im still really weak, and tired. I joke that I feel like I have the body of an 80 yr old with the mind of a 28 yr old. My joints are killing me due to the meds, along with the weakness in my legs. Its really hard for me to walk much these days. Or even stand too long. My legs are just too weak from the drugs, and simple side effects from radiation etc. Its crazy really. We are getting me a wheelchair, and I now have a walker too. Im super excited for a wheelchair! Means I can get out and about again. Its driving me nuts basically confined to a recliner at home. We did get a handicap tag for the car too this week. That will help us greatly as well. My joke was "how many moms of toddlers get up close parking!!??" Hey, Im looking at the bright side of everything!
I did finally do one thing Ive wanted to do for a while. I scheduled myself a massage. They have special ones for cancer patients at my oncologist. They specialize it to your needs etc. Im super excited for it.
So new updates tomorrow. Plus Im working on a special post from this weekend...stay tuned.
Other than that Im doing as okay as can be expected. Im still really weak, and tired. I joke that I feel like I have the body of an 80 yr old with the mind of a 28 yr old. My joints are killing me due to the meds, along with the weakness in my legs. Its really hard for me to walk much these days. Or even stand too long. My legs are just too weak from the drugs, and simple side effects from radiation etc. Its crazy really. We are getting me a wheelchair, and I now have a walker too. Im super excited for a wheelchair! Means I can get out and about again. Its driving me nuts basically confined to a recliner at home. We did get a handicap tag for the car too this week. That will help us greatly as well. My joke was "how many moms of toddlers get up close parking!!??" Hey, Im looking at the bright side of everything!
I did finally do one thing Ive wanted to do for a while. I scheduled myself a massage. They have special ones for cancer patients at my oncologist. They specialize it to your needs etc. Im super excited for it.
So new updates tomorrow. Plus Im working on a special post from this weekend...stay tuned.
September 20, 2013
New Meds the Scoop
So Ive spoken about this new medicine Im on. I finally decided its time to post a bit more about it. Its name is Zelboraf. Its a immune boosting drug, not chemo but chemo-sih is what I call it. (if you read the side effects you would too.) The goal is to maybe help shrink my tumors with it. Its a long shot for anything to get into the brain, but we are trying none the less. Im not holding my breath on this, but we said we would try everything. Keep in mind crossing the blood brain barrier is very very very very hard to do. This is just being used to try to busy us any extra time we can get. The likely hood of this doing anything is tiny.
I take 4 horse pills 2x daily at home for this treatment. The label is pretty scary. It basically doesnt want anyone to touch it but the patient, and is very strict on when to take it daily. Not sure how long I will be at this does, but I dont expect it to change anytime soon.
The side effects just plain suck. So far Ive only been on it a week. They check my blood weekly, along with doctors visits to see how Im doing. Right now my side effects are as follows-
- Severe sun irritation. I have burns on my neck, lips, and chest from a car ride not covered up well enough. I feel like a vampire in the sun. I can feel my skin burning even thur a window. All I need is the fun smoky vampire effect. 'Im melting...hahah'
- Fatigue - granted I always have this just seems more extreme.
- And todays newest- Joint pain! I woke up feeling 80 yrs old with arthritis. I could hardly walk my joints hurt so bad.
Now for the possible side effects I dont currently have. OR I do and have already have and dont realize its making worse. lol. What a disclaimer.
-may cause skin cancer (ha)
-feel faint
-trouble breathing/ swallowing
-faster hear beat
-skin reactions
-joint pain
-hair loss or hair growth?? lol. I loved this one. Granted I have no hair already. Maybe Ill grow some?
-fatigue
-nausea
-rash
-constipation
-diarrhea
-sun sensitivity with blistering
I take 4 horse pills 2x daily at home for this treatment. The label is pretty scary. It basically doesnt want anyone to touch it but the patient, and is very strict on when to take it daily. Not sure how long I will be at this does, but I dont expect it to change anytime soon.
The side effects just plain suck. So far Ive only been on it a week. They check my blood weekly, along with doctors visits to see how Im doing. Right now my side effects are as follows-
- Severe sun irritation. I have burns on my neck, lips, and chest from a car ride not covered up well enough. I feel like a vampire in the sun. I can feel my skin burning even thur a window. All I need is the fun smoky vampire effect. 'Im melting...hahah'
- Fatigue - granted I always have this just seems more extreme.
- And todays newest- Joint pain! I woke up feeling 80 yrs old with arthritis. I could hardly walk my joints hurt so bad.
Now for the possible side effects I dont currently have. OR I do and have already have and dont realize its making worse. lol. What a disclaimer.
-may cause skin cancer (ha)
-feel faint
-trouble breathing/ swallowing
-faster hear beat
-skin reactions
-joint pain
-hair loss or hair growth?? lol. I loved this one. Granted I have no hair already. Maybe Ill grow some?
-fatigue
-nausea
-rash
-constipation
-diarrhea
-sun sensitivity with blistering
Busy Day
Its been a busy day for us today. Eric woke up and made me some awesome chocolate chip pancakes! Elliot had his first taste of them today too. It was fun watching him realize there was chocolate inside. Made a mess but totally worth it.
We also got a handicap tag for the car today. That was quite the experience. Eric had tried to go for me, but they require the patient to be there and sign for it. So we got to wait over an hour to get a tag. UGH. Hour with a toddler in a place festering with germs. It will help us greatly though, since Im having walking issues. The closer parking really will help. Im excited to have the ability to use it if we need it. Just an extra thing to help.
Just that simple trip, lunch, then a quick pop into walmart wiped me today. Granted I wanted to run into walmart to stretch my legs. I get tired of being tired and confined. I know I shouldnt walk much and save what strength I have, but sometimes I go stir crazy. I should have known better. Im so weak now its back to struggling to stand up straight without assistance. So here I am, back in my recliner trying to relax and rest. Hoping this doesnt turn into one of those 3 day recovery periods. Totally kicking myself for overdoing it. Oh well, we will see. Back to feeling like a newborn deer....seriously thats how my legs feel BAMBI new.
We also got a handicap tag for the car today. That was quite the experience. Eric had tried to go for me, but they require the patient to be there and sign for it. So we got to wait over an hour to get a tag. UGH. Hour with a toddler in a place festering with germs. It will help us greatly though, since Im having walking issues. The closer parking really will help. Im excited to have the ability to use it if we need it. Just an extra thing to help.
Just that simple trip, lunch, then a quick pop into walmart wiped me today. Granted I wanted to run into walmart to stretch my legs. I get tired of being tired and confined. I know I shouldnt walk much and save what strength I have, but sometimes I go stir crazy. I should have known better. Im so weak now its back to struggling to stand up straight without assistance. So here I am, back in my recliner trying to relax and rest. Hoping this doesnt turn into one of those 3 day recovery periods. Totally kicking myself for overdoing it. Oh well, we will see. Back to feeling like a newborn deer....seriously thats how my legs feel BAMBI new.
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| Elliot doing the 'duh' face at DMV. This is how we feel waiting..... |
September 19, 2013
Whats Going on In There!?? :) Ramblings of Me
I'll admit I have some rather fun thoughts sometimes. (dont we all?) It just seems like lately Ive come up with some interesting ones. We've all been there. A bit loopy may it be on booze, prescription drugs or whatever. I just thought it might be fun to tell you some of my 'Cassandra-isms' that Ive had lately. Erics comment when I wake him up to tell him my latest dream or idea is always "this will be goo". :) So heres a bit of fun.
- "I dont want to plant new bushes in the front yard! I want M&M Cookies on sticks instead!"
- "Lets shave the dog (golden retriever) to look like a lion"
-"Wakes up at 3 am 'COOOOKIESSS'" And promptly eat a en entire box. Mentally streaming the cookie monsters mantra. (this is sadly very common lately thank you steroids)
- "I need tacky fake nails. Like reeeeallly tacky. Ive never had some done. This needs to happen."
- " I wanna make a new wreath for the door. Maybe dinosaur or ninja turtle, something just random an unexpected. Why the heck not? Its my freaking door!" (Eric...yes dear, but can we do the turtles!! Ill help) -----this one may happen. I really do think its cook :) We are awesome like that. lol.
My hubby is awesome and is usually on board with whatever ramblings I have. He wouldnt let me do anything harmful or too dumb. I have to put my disclaimer out.
- "I dont want to plant new bushes in the front yard! I want M&M Cookies on sticks instead!"
- "Lets shave the dog (golden retriever) to look like a lion"
-"Wakes up at 3 am 'COOOOKIESSS'" And promptly eat a en entire box. Mentally streaming the cookie monsters mantra. (this is sadly very common lately thank you steroids)
- "I need tacky fake nails. Like reeeeallly tacky. Ive never had some done. This needs to happen."
- " I wanna make a new wreath for the door. Maybe dinosaur or ninja turtle, something just random an unexpected. Why the heck not? Its my freaking door!" (Eric...yes dear, but can we do the turtles!! Ill help) -----this one may happen. I really do think its cook :) We are awesome like that. lol.
My hubby is awesome and is usually on board with whatever ramblings I have. He wouldnt let me do anything harmful or too dumb. I have to put my disclaimer out.
September 18, 2013
Check Up Day
Loads of new news today. (well sorta) We decided collectively to stop radiation on my spine today. So far the radiation did what it was supposed to do. My arm is no longer going numb, and no longer in pain. SCORE! We originally had 5 more treatments to go after today, but decided to stop. The pain is gone, and all its now doing is causing my throat pain with difficulty eating. There is no added perk to continuing the radiation. At this point its more harm than good. So we are stopping.
We also had a checkup with my oncologist today. It was to see how Im tolerating this new 'chemo' drug. My labs look good, and everything else is normal on that front. The only side effects right now is the severe burning with sun exposure. Any amount of sun causes severe blistering. This is normal for this drug. Yay me. For now I get the pleasure of staying completely covered from the sun. Guess it could be worse.
Ive been having severe pains in my head the past few days. They are treating me with a new med today to try to keep that under control. They also are keeping my steroids up, rather than decrease like we had discussed. As of now Im still on track for a MRI next week to see how my brain is doing. At that time they will recheck all blood levels etc.
So for now we watch and wait. No more radiation, just taking the new drug, and will seed how I do. Stinks that we are in a holding pattern, but there isnt anything else we can do right now. So loads of rest for me, and staying indoors. I seriously feel like a vampire if I go outside (and not the sparkly kind) I can feel my skin burning. Its a crazy feeling.
September 17, 2013
Sleep or Lack of
What a night. I couldnt sleep. I swear my entire house couldnt sleep. We all for some reason tossed and turned. That makes for a long tiresome tuesday. Luckily, 15 month olds nap, and Cancer Mommies nap. :) Perks.
Not sure whats up. My head has been hurting more the past couple days. Random sharp pains just popping up. I also still have my overall weakness. Its really hard to explain how I feel. Its like I cant trust my body to do what I want. My legs are weak, and feel like they can just give way all the time. My arms have no strength for even some heavy dishes. Going from a semi-healthy 28 yr old to this is hard. Its almost like overnight I was okay strength wise to this. (yes even over the past year I felt loads of energy until a few weeks ago). I know its finally all the radiation catching up. This is what it felt like around christmas for me, last radiation round. It should* pass. Likely in a few weeks some energy should return. Just getting that thru my brain is hard. I struggle having to depend on other people for everything. I want to help pull my weight. My husband does almost everything for Elliot and I these days. Its hard to go from 'normal' to having to have help putting clothes on. I guess its just part of it.
Tomorrow, we have a doctor check up for my new meds. This chemo-ish drug sucks. So far my newest side effect is blistering in the slightest sun. I have blisters on my neck and chest. I can literally feel the sun burning me in the car. Ive resulted to wearing hoodies, scarves etc to keep the sun off my skin. I had to wear the hood in the car this morning as the sunshine I could feel searing my skin. Its the oddest feeling, and of course the burns hurt like heck. Crazy to think a pill can cause that.
Thats all I have for now. More updates to come!
Not sure whats up. My head has been hurting more the past couple days. Random sharp pains just popping up. I also still have my overall weakness. Its really hard to explain how I feel. Its like I cant trust my body to do what I want. My legs are weak, and feel like they can just give way all the time. My arms have no strength for even some heavy dishes. Going from a semi-healthy 28 yr old to this is hard. Its almost like overnight I was okay strength wise to this. (yes even over the past year I felt loads of energy until a few weeks ago). I know its finally all the radiation catching up. This is what it felt like around christmas for me, last radiation round. It should* pass. Likely in a few weeks some energy should return. Just getting that thru my brain is hard. I struggle having to depend on other people for everything. I want to help pull my weight. My husband does almost everything for Elliot and I these days. Its hard to go from 'normal' to having to have help putting clothes on. I guess its just part of it.
Tomorrow, we have a doctor check up for my new meds. This chemo-ish drug sucks. So far my newest side effect is blistering in the slightest sun. I have blisters on my neck and chest. I can literally feel the sun burning me in the car. Ive resulted to wearing hoodies, scarves etc to keep the sun off my skin. I had to wear the hood in the car this morning as the sunshine I could feel searing my skin. Its the oddest feeling, and of course the burns hurt like heck. Crazy to think a pill can cause that.
Thats all I have for now. More updates to come!
September 14, 2013
Woo PIG!
What a saturday. Our plan was to keep it simple, and relax. We watched the game from the comfort of our living room, while having my sister-in-law and niece over for pizza. (and a bit of Elliot entertainment) :)
I then promptly took a nice long nap. I then mustered my energy and went and had dinner with my mom, sister and her kiddos. Maybe the last time in a bit we will get to do that. My little sister is about to pop a baby out any second. lol. Way too much food was made. My mom over did herself in that department. Bless her heart, she tried to make me food that I could swallow. It worked out great though. We all had an amazing time.
As of this morning my throat is so sore water hurts. Im afraid that by morning Ill be lucky to drink anything. The feeling is very hard to explain. Im making due and trying to eat/ drink whatever I can manage to get down without chocking. Gotta love the side effects. Im still super tired today. I had to lay back on the couch at my parents just due to sitting was too much. Now Im off to bed. I think my plan for tomorrow may be to not even get out of my pjs. It may just be a sheer pjs & mommy in bed day. Pop in a few movies and just sleep thru them. Ahhhh what a plan. Seriously...this may happen.
Well goodnight all. Hope you all had a wonderful saturday.
I then promptly took a nice long nap. I then mustered my energy and went and had dinner with my mom, sister and her kiddos. Maybe the last time in a bit we will get to do that. My little sister is about to pop a baby out any second. lol. Way too much food was made. My mom over did herself in that department. Bless her heart, she tried to make me food that I could swallow. It worked out great though. We all had an amazing time.
As of this morning my throat is so sore water hurts. Im afraid that by morning Ill be lucky to drink anything. The feeling is very hard to explain. Im making due and trying to eat/ drink whatever I can manage to get down without chocking. Gotta love the side effects. Im still super tired today. I had to lay back on the couch at my parents just due to sitting was too much. Now Im off to bed. I think my plan for tomorrow may be to not even get out of my pjs. It may just be a sheer pjs & mommy in bed day. Pop in a few movies and just sleep thru them. Ahhhh what a plan. Seriously...this may happen.
Well goodnight all. Hope you all had a wonderful saturday.
September 13, 2013
Its FRIDAY!
Woke up bright and early this morning with the most energy Ive felt in days. Compared to healthy people Im sure its pitiful, but for me it was a nice change. I actually got up and made some blueberry muffins for breakfast! The downside was that I wasnt able to eat them, due to my lovely new sore throat. Oh well... I tried. Elliot enjoyed them.
My energy level quickly decreased. Im now back into the recliner, resting. Overall Im happy with the added tiny bit of pep today. Ill take what I can get. :) Still trying to take everything easy, so that I dont overdo myself.
New found side effect of the day? Radiation burns!!! On my ear and neck. Lovely look going. I actually left the house this morning in pants, long sleeves, and a hat. Not only radiation burns, but trying to protect myself from the sun (more so than normal). My new meds make even sitting in the car to the doc a sunburn-able experience. I swear I remind myself of a old lady in a big floppy hat. Oh well...Im covered!
So thats it for today. Pacing myself. No big plans for the weekend other than loads of rest. Be jelous of my many many naps ;). Im sure we will watch the Hogs play and just relax. Maybe we can teach Elliot how to call the hogs! I may make that my mission this weekend.
My energy level quickly decreased. Im now back into the recliner, resting. Overall Im happy with the added tiny bit of pep today. Ill take what I can get. :) Still trying to take everything easy, so that I dont overdo myself.
New found side effect of the day? Radiation burns!!! On my ear and neck. Lovely look going. I actually left the house this morning in pants, long sleeves, and a hat. Not only radiation burns, but trying to protect myself from the sun (more so than normal). My new meds make even sitting in the car to the doc a sunburn-able experience. I swear I remind myself of a old lady in a big floppy hat. Oh well...Im covered!
So thats it for today. Pacing myself. No big plans for the weekend other than loads of rest. Be jelous of my many many naps ;). Im sure we will watch the Hogs play and just relax. Maybe we can teach Elliot how to call the hogs! I may make that my mission this weekend.
September 12, 2013
Quick Trip into Public
So today I splurged. I had to stretch my legs. So we took a very quick and slow trip to walmart. WOOHOOO!!! (hey when unable to get around a change of scenery is nice) It was a quick trip but I learned some fun stuff.
See typically random people talk to me no matter where I go. I guess its my face? Who knows. Ive had random people hug me (before cancer) on the street. This usually blows my husbands mind. So today, at walmart I go strolling in after radiation with no head covering, bald as can be. Low and behold....the people started talking. I guess its what I call the 'cancer effect'. Suddenly everyone is super nice. Acting like theyve known you for years! At one point Eric actually goes "did you know that lady??" hahah NOPE! she just started at my head and started chatting. Its like the giraffe at the zoo effect. I think they think they just have to say something. I dont mind, I just think its funny. Ill have employees follow us around continually asking if they can help etc. You get the super nice service if you shave your head...just saying.
Other than that still tired. Got some adde rest last night which was nice. Still trying to just sit and take it easy and not overdo it. Hope you all have a happy Thursday! Weekend is almost here!
See typically random people talk to me no matter where I go. I guess its my face? Who knows. Ive had random people hug me (before cancer) on the street. This usually blows my husbands mind. So today, at walmart I go strolling in after radiation with no head covering, bald as can be. Low and behold....the people started talking. I guess its what I call the 'cancer effect'. Suddenly everyone is super nice. Acting like theyve known you for years! At one point Eric actually goes "did you know that lady??" hahah NOPE! she just started at my head and started chatting. Its like the giraffe at the zoo effect. I think they think they just have to say something. I dont mind, I just think its funny. Ill have employees follow us around continually asking if they can help etc. You get the super nice service if you shave your head...just saying.
Other than that still tired. Got some adde rest last night which was nice. Still trying to just sit and take it easy and not overdo it. Hope you all have a happy Thursday! Weekend is almost here!
September 11, 2013
Wednesday AKA Doctor Day!
Same ole same ole. Every wednesday we have our radiation doctor check up day. Nothing new to report. Starting to have the side effects of a sore throat on top of everything else from Monday. Still having all the same stuff from the weekend.
My overall feeling is extreme exhaustion. I finally think the whole brain radiation side effects have started. (they last for months) Then add the current radiation, and we have quite the party. Ive been too tired to really move from my recliner the past few days. So tired that even moving to pull my arm out of the sleeve of my sweater is too much to do. This morning I woke with more energy though. Still exhausted, but Ill take the improvement. Im not steady on my feet anymore, so I still need help with some basics.
I started a new med yesterday. Type of chemo but not chemo. Really confusing when they put it that way. It has all the side effects of chemo (according to the box) but they dont consider it 'official chemo. Good news is, I take it at home in pill form. Crappy part is they wanted me at home for a few days till they knew how it would react with me. Other than my normal stuff going on its really hard to say. I mean come on...my brain/body is kinda riddled with cancer and beat to a pulp. Its hard to say what the heck causes exactly what. :) I do find this amusing. Like I said the other day "yep you have cancer" lol.
So there is my update. Nothing really new other than being really tired. This week is going to be a serious recoup week for me. Loads of sitting, napping and trying to take it easy.
My overall feeling is extreme exhaustion. I finally think the whole brain radiation side effects have started. (they last for months) Then add the current radiation, and we have quite the party. Ive been too tired to really move from my recliner the past few days. So tired that even moving to pull my arm out of the sleeve of my sweater is too much to do. This morning I woke with more energy though. Still exhausted, but Ill take the improvement. Im not steady on my feet anymore, so I still need help with some basics.
I started a new med yesterday. Type of chemo but not chemo. Really confusing when they put it that way. It has all the side effects of chemo (according to the box) but they dont consider it 'official chemo. Good news is, I take it at home in pill form. Crappy part is they wanted me at home for a few days till they knew how it would react with me. Other than my normal stuff going on its really hard to say. I mean come on...my brain/body is kinda riddled with cancer and beat to a pulp. Its hard to say what the heck causes exactly what. :) I do find this amusing. Like I said the other day "yep you have cancer" lol.
So there is my update. Nothing really new other than being really tired. This week is going to be a serious recoup week for me. Loads of sitting, napping and trying to take it easy.
September 9, 2013
Doctor Check up!
So I mentioned having some issues this weekend. Well my new found symptoms are just overall tiredness, tummy issues, leg weakness, and suddenly starting to faint. I have yet to fall, but black vision and starting to fall is happening. A walk from the couch to my front door can cause such 'spells'. This started happening over the weekend, so had us concerned. We saw the doctor this morning for a quick check out.
I joked that all they are going to say is the typical 'yep you have cancer, part of it'. Just as when I was pregnant and would go in worried about the baby, and get the response 'yep your pregnant part of it'. lol. Sure enough. Thats basically the answer we got. They took some new blood work, and gave me an eval. They also changed up some of my meds. Overall conclusion is that we upped the steroids as some of it is a mix of brain swelling, and the spinal radiation/tumor. All of these things can also cause an upset tummy. So Im just eating what I can, and light food. They are monitoring me daily (at radiation) so will keep an eye on my symptoms.
Today is the first time they offered me a walker to help my weakness. My joke (as always) was "whats a walker going to do!? make another obstacle for me to fall on?" lol. Its hard to describe, but its a mix of leg weakness and sudden blackouts. If anything a scooter or chair would be safer for me. Its in discussion. I couldnt walk thru a store right now if I wanted to. Hopefully, some rest will help.
So the point they made today, was 'yep its your cancer' and take it easy. So nothing unexpected I just need to stop trying to over do myself. Its hard to remember 3 weeks ago finishing whole brain radiation, and Im still recovering from that. Then add my current radiation. That alone puts a strain on anyone. Last radiation I was very weak for weeks. I was thinking this time would be different. Now that its hit I realize it was a matter of time before I felt this way again.
For now, Im in a chair taking it easy and trying to get loads of sleep. Thank you for your prayers.
I joked that all they are going to say is the typical 'yep you have cancer, part of it'. Just as when I was pregnant and would go in worried about the baby, and get the response 'yep your pregnant part of it'. lol. Sure enough. Thats basically the answer we got. They took some new blood work, and gave me an eval. They also changed up some of my meds. Overall conclusion is that we upped the steroids as some of it is a mix of brain swelling, and the spinal radiation/tumor. All of these things can also cause an upset tummy. So Im just eating what I can, and light food. They are monitoring me daily (at radiation) so will keep an eye on my symptoms.
Today is the first time they offered me a walker to help my weakness. My joke (as always) was "whats a walker going to do!? make another obstacle for me to fall on?" lol. Its hard to describe, but its a mix of leg weakness and sudden blackouts. If anything a scooter or chair would be safer for me. Its in discussion. I couldnt walk thru a store right now if I wanted to. Hopefully, some rest will help.
So the point they made today, was 'yep its your cancer' and take it easy. So nothing unexpected I just need to stop trying to over do myself. Its hard to remember 3 weeks ago finishing whole brain radiation, and Im still recovering from that. Then add my current radiation. That alone puts a strain on anyone. Last radiation I was very weak for weeks. I was thinking this time would be different. Now that its hit I realize it was a matter of time before I felt this way again.
For now, Im in a chair taking it easy and trying to get loads of sleep. Thank you for your prayers.
What a 'Wicked' Weekend
My in-laws surprised me with a weekend getaway. They planned a trip to see 'Wicked' off broadway! I had been wanting to see this for a while now. I was surprised beyond words. Our entourage consisted of My in-laws, husband, myself, Elliot, Sister-in-law, and niece. My sister-in-law came along to watch Elliot during the show! What a trooper. She was a huge help. Both kiddos played and napped while we were at the show. She was also a huge help to Eric while dealing with me.
The show was great. We were on row one, middle seats. I was brought to tears more than once, by the sheer generosity of my family to pull all of this together for me. The short trip (4 hours from home) taught us some lessons. Things I can and cannot do. I had a list of things to do, we now need to tweak. My health just wont allow me to do what I want. It was a learning experience.
We did get into a bit of trouble at the show. They told us we could take a picture before the shows 10 minute cell warning. The lady turned around, and I tried to take a picture of Eric and I. She then immediately turned back and yelled at me!! What the heck. I really wanted to pull the sappy 'weeks to live cancer card' but I behaved. So we didnt get very good pics.
Overall, it was a blessed weekend with family. I have no words to express my love for my entire family. I know I continue to say that we are all more than family, we are friends. I would do anything I could to show them how much they mean to me. I have no way to repay any kindness they continue to give. Ive learned to just have to be happy with Thank you, and hugs. I hope they realize how I truly feel. The emotions simply bring tears to my eyes. I wish tears could express my words.
The show was great. We were on row one, middle seats. I was brought to tears more than once, by the sheer generosity of my family to pull all of this together for me. The short trip (4 hours from home) taught us some lessons. Things I can and cannot do. I had a list of things to do, we now need to tweak. My health just wont allow me to do what I want. It was a learning experience.
We did get into a bit of trouble at the show. They told us we could take a picture before the shows 10 minute cell warning. The lady turned around, and I tried to take a picture of Eric and I. She then immediately turned back and yelled at me!! What the heck. I really wanted to pull the sappy 'weeks to live cancer card' but I behaved. So we didnt get very good pics.
Overall, it was a blessed weekend with family. I have no words to express my love for my entire family. I know I continue to say that we are all more than family, we are friends. I would do anything I could to show them how much they mean to me. I have no way to repay any kindness they continue to give. Ive learned to just have to be happy with Thank you, and hugs. I hope they realize how I truly feel. The emotions simply bring tears to my eyes. I wish tears could express my words.
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| Camera lady yelled at us for this one.... |
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| Signed by the cast!! Me and Mother-in-law |
September 4, 2013
No Words
I have no words for the news we received today. We went in knowing this appointment would be huge. It would tell us a lot of information we wanted/needed to know. Things that had been weighing on our minds, and answers the doctors had been shy to give. We were finally at the point where they had to tell us some definitive time line.
The scans were not good. Granted with 9+ brain mets we kinda knew. The newest scans showed that I have a lymph node in my abdomen that has cancer in it, a spot in my bone, a spot on my spine (this is what the radiation Im getting treated for is currently), and the biggie....that the mets in my brain have grown. Some have in fact doubled in size. To sum it up the mets in my brain appeared to have not responded to the whole brain radiation. Granted, its still early after radiation. They typically dont re-scan until 6 weeks after radiation. They are going to rescan me in 3 weeks to get a clearer image. Either way, the outlook is grim.
The outlook as of right now the doctor explained is a few weeks to months. We dont know how much time. It depends on the growth of my brain mets, and how my body reacts.
I have no idea what else to say at this point. Im still processing this information myself. Right now my family is working on making plans for the future (things I want to get done, memories I want to make) intermixed with uncontrollable crying. We are all working on processing this information. We knew this day was here, and would come. I thought I was prepared to hear those words the doctor said today, but I wasn't as ready as I thought. So we are all working on processing it. Today is for processing, tomorrow will be for getting things done.
The scans were not good. Granted with 9+ brain mets we kinda knew. The newest scans showed that I have a lymph node in my abdomen that has cancer in it, a spot in my bone, a spot on my spine (this is what the radiation Im getting treated for is currently), and the biggie....that the mets in my brain have grown. Some have in fact doubled in size. To sum it up the mets in my brain appeared to have not responded to the whole brain radiation. Granted, its still early after radiation. They typically dont re-scan until 6 weeks after radiation. They are going to rescan me in 3 weeks to get a clearer image. Either way, the outlook is grim.
The outlook as of right now the doctor explained is a few weeks to months. We dont know how much time. It depends on the growth of my brain mets, and how my body reacts.
I have no idea what else to say at this point. Im still processing this information myself. Right now my family is working on making plans for the future (things I want to get done, memories I want to make) intermixed with uncontrollable crying. We are all working on processing this information. We knew this day was here, and would come. I thought I was prepared to hear those words the doctor said today, but I wasn't as ready as I thought. So we are all working on processing it. Today is for processing, tomorrow will be for getting things done.
Up and At em'
Todays the day! The day of all the new info. Ill admit neither Eric nor I slept well last night. (granted with all going on its hard to sleep any night) So we are up this morning getting around for round 3 session #1 of radiation this morning.
I realized last night that while I mentioned my favorite song I never really talked about the lyrics. I know its a tear jerker. However, I really like the song, and it kinda hits home a bit. So for your pleasure I thought Id let you read the lyrics. :)
THE BAND PERRY LYRICS-
"If I Die Young"
I realized last night that while I mentioned my favorite song I never really talked about the lyrics. I know its a tear jerker. However, I really like the song, and it kinda hits home a bit. So for your pleasure I thought Id let you read the lyrics. :)
THE BAND PERRY LYRICS-
"If I Die Young"
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Uh oh, uh oh
Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh,
And life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby
The sharp knife of a short life, oh well
I've had just enough time
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
The sharp knife of a short life, oh well
I've had just enough time
And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger,
I've never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holdin' my hand,
There's a boy here in town, says he'll love me forever,
Who would have thought forever could be severed by...
...the sharp knife of a short life, oh well?
I've had just enough time
So put on your best, boys, and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done
A penny for my thoughts, oh, no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Uh oh (uh, oh)
The ballad of a dove (oh, uh)
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save 'em for a time when you're really gonna need 'em, oh
The sharp knife of a short life, oh well
I've had just enough time
So put on your best, boys, and I'll wear my pearls.
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Uh oh, uh oh
Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh,
And life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby
The sharp knife of a short life, oh well
I've had just enough time
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
The sharp knife of a short life, oh well
I've had just enough time
And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger,
I've never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holdin' my hand,
There's a boy here in town, says he'll love me forever,
Who would have thought forever could be severed by...
...the sharp knife of a short life, oh well?
I've had just enough time
So put on your best, boys, and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done
A penny for my thoughts, oh, no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Uh oh (uh, oh)
The ballad of a dove (oh, uh)
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save 'em for a time when you're really gonna need 'em, oh
The sharp knife of a short life, oh well
I've had just enough time
So put on your best, boys, and I'll wear my pearls.
September 3, 2013
Scan day!
Scans are finally done. It only took all freaking day. The crummy part about scan day is the having to fast all morning, then get stuck in a tube for 4 hours, and finally getting to eat at 4:30 pm. Now remember Im also on steroids so Im always hungry= bad news. By the end of this afternoon I was shaky and starving. All I could think about is food. Luckily we stopped and I managed to get some food in me as fast as possible, and all is well.
So now Im awesomely radioactive, and unable to handle the baby for 24 hours. Its all Daddy duty for now! All Im allowed to do is sit back and stay far far away from the kiddo. Too bad he doesnt quite understand the no mommy concept. Oh well...it always passes quickly.
We did get some news today. I start my next round of radiation tomorrow morning a 8am. Should be fun. (not). Im just hoping it helps my pain level go down. After that we get to wait until 3ish to find out the results of todays tests. We will also figure out or next move, and the game plan. A lot of information will be coming our way tomorrow. It will be interesting to see what they have to say.
So there ya have it. The same ole same ole hurry up and wait story.
So now Im awesomely radioactive, and unable to handle the baby for 24 hours. Its all Daddy duty for now! All Im allowed to do is sit back and stay far far away from the kiddo. Too bad he doesnt quite understand the no mommy concept. Oh well...it always passes quickly.
We did get some news today. I start my next round of radiation tomorrow morning a 8am. Should be fun. (not). Im just hoping it helps my pain level go down. After that we get to wait until 3ish to find out the results of todays tests. We will also figure out or next move, and the game plan. A lot of information will be coming our way tomorrow. It will be interesting to see what they have to say.
So there ya have it. The same ole same ole hurry up and wait story.
September 2, 2013
Back to Mommy Land
So last night was Elliots first overnight trip. Even when I was in the hospital we made it a point for normalcy, and had Eric come home to be with Elliot at night. So last night we went for his overnight trip to the Grandparents.
We packed him up, and took him to Grams and Paw Paws. Low and behold he was off running to play. He had no interest in waving bye or saying bye to Eric or I. I saw this as a good thing. He loves both sets of his grandparents. This is a blessing. He loves and trusts them completely. From what I hear the night went well. He slept without a problem, and played the entire time. When we arrived to pick him up this morning he just smiled and continued off to play with Grams. HA. No "hi ma ma", no running for hugs. We actually had to run and grab him for hugs!!! He was waaaay too busy playing to care that mom and dad had arrived. I was very pleased he was that happy, that he didnt mind us gone.
Once home, we went back into our normal routine. Lunch which resulted in LOADS of cleaning. He somehow managed to get pizza in his diaper, all over the high chair, the chair next to him, and the floor. Now that I finished scrubbing up his lunch, hes awake and currently spreading goldfish around our freshly vacuumed living room floor. Welcome back to Mommy-Land!!!
We packed him up, and took him to Grams and Paw Paws. Low and behold he was off running to play. He had no interest in waving bye or saying bye to Eric or I. I saw this as a good thing. He loves both sets of his grandparents. This is a blessing. He loves and trusts them completely. From what I hear the night went well. He slept without a problem, and played the entire time. When we arrived to pick him up this morning he just smiled and continued off to play with Grams. HA. No "hi ma ma", no running for hugs. We actually had to run and grab him for hugs!!! He was waaaay too busy playing to care that mom and dad had arrived. I was very pleased he was that happy, that he didnt mind us gone.
Once home, we went back into our normal routine. Lunch which resulted in LOADS of cleaning. He somehow managed to get pizza in his diaper, all over the high chair, the chair next to him, and the floor. Now that I finished scrubbing up his lunch, hes awake and currently spreading goldfish around our freshly vacuumed living room floor. Welcome back to Mommy-Land!!!
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| This was right before he attempted to feed the dog.... |
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| Who me??? |
Date night and "The Band Perry!"
We had a blast last night! I had a lot of firsts for me. #1- first concert ever! #2- first time in a casino. #3 first time gambling (slot machines only), and #4 first time leaving the baby over night without Eric or myself there. That said I had a blast.
Arriving at the casino was a new experience for me. I was a bit overwhelmed. The first thing I said was "this is the perfect place for a person not 6 months out of lung surgery to be!" Too much smoke indoors. These days its easy to forget some establishments allow smoking indoors. Once I got over that, I quickly realized that all the flashing lights etc were a problem. My poor drug addled brain didnt like it. (remember Im at risk for seizures et. and on medication) I kept getting dizzy and having to hold onto my husband for support. Between the dizziness and the fun pain killers I was loopy.
We met my in-laws and they sat me down to get me to try the slot machines. That said Im a very frugal person. I hate to waste money. That said....Im not a gambler. lol. I was stressed out about loosing money and ready to quit as soon as I had gained it back. They were laughing at my attitude. Overall for the night they were up, so my mini loosing streak was nothing. Technically they were still ahead. Good news....I dont have a gambling problem. :) and don't forsee one ever in the future.
There was an amazing dinner before the concert. I think I ate 4-5 desserts on my own. (oink oink) They were divine. That dinner was the only meal I was up to eating all day, so I splurged. Not that thats too hard to do with the fun steroids Im taking 3x a day. Its unfortunately staring to show in my face again. BOOO.
Soon after we made our way to the concert. It was an outdoor event, and we had tickets on the 13th row. These were amazing seats, smack in the center. The concert was amazing. No joke it sounded exactly like their record. They were all very energetic, and it really was good to watch. I loved it. They are one of my favorite country artists ever. So when my favorite song came up something hit me. I cried. Granted in my situation a song called "When I Die Young" kinda hits home. I felt a bit guilty sobbing like a baby, oh well. About that time a guy behind me taps me on the shoulder, and hands me something. I couldn't hear is explanation between the music, and my hearing loss. But it was a signed ticket from all 3 band members! He later found me and explained that someone he knew died 15 years ago from breast cancer, and he wanted me to have the ticket. He then told me he loved me. (maybe a bit drunk) But it came more across as a "keep fighting people love you" sorta deal. Of course once again I and my Mother in law teared up and said "thank you". I had originally joked that it was the 'cancer look' that made him feel bad. Girl with a head scarf, bawling....lol. It was a very sweet gesture.
Overall, it was a long night. I had the time of my life. Totally worth the tiredness that I have today. And all the fun dizzy spells, and almost puking occasionally. (new side effect just randomly feel like hurling with no warning) I loved he time with Eric, and my in-laws. Im really blessed to have in-laws that are not only family, but that I feel more like they are just close friends. Its easy and fun to be around them, and not some chore to card to get punched. It was more like a couples date than anything.
September 1, 2013
Jam Packed Saturday!
Whew what a day! Yesterday started with an early baby shower for my little sister. Shes having the first girl on our side of the family, following 3 boys. All the pink was overwhelming. Im blessed to have the one boy I have. I wanted a slew of babies, but Ive been forced to realize that that is not in my future. Im very happy the one I have is a boy. I would have been happy with any healthy baby, but secretly I wanted a boy. Girls are just too much drama. For me.
Anyway...We ended our day with a large "lobsterfest" aka lobster boil at my inlaws. They had approximately 30+ people attend. They had it on the beach by our the creek. It was way too hot for me so I ended up inside watching cinderella with Elliot. Granted, I realized taking steroids, and hydracodone on an empy stomach, plus heat is a bad idea. And being high as a kite meeting new people was fun :). I dont think anyone noticed.
Towards the end all the kids at the party got hot, so ended up inside with me. (we have a baby/kid friendly room in the house) 1 boy and 4 little girls later I was cracking up, yet having to control one very curious boy. He was wielding a large spoon trying to bang it on all the girls head. It got taken away quickly. Eric stepped in as he said to let it play out. Something about letting the kids work it out. Yes...lets let a 15 mo old, 2 yr old, 5 yr old, 6 yr old, and 7 yr old 'figure it out'. In the end we survived.
I was surprised in the end that the girls didnt say any fun comments to me. I was so hot my scarf had to come off my head for relief. Usually they comment on my lack of hair. Shockingly nothing this go around. I didnt even get any odd looks from the new people I met. I guess they are finally getting used to my random appearances without any head covering. Elliot still randomly wants to pet my head, so he still has a ways to go :)
So todays agenda? My first concert ever! Im going to see The Band Perry!!! That said this is the first night little man will be spending the night away from us and away from home. Despite all my hospital stays Ive always had Eric bring Elliot home and sleep here. Hes never been away from us at night before. Hes staying at his grandparents so I know he will be fine. Im super excited for a concert experience though! Im hoping that I can make it, may be drugged up to handle it and deal with my arm pain but hey Im sure Im not the first person to go to a concert in an 'altered state'. Ill have a full report in the morning!
(Ive been dropped a few notes lately. I greatly appreciate them. My reading is going along much better. Im also happy to answer any questions anyone has, I just need an email address to respond to. I will attach my regular email address to my profile on here. Or I can be reached thru Facebook. Thank you all)
Anyway...We ended our day with a large "lobsterfest" aka lobster boil at my inlaws. They had approximately 30+ people attend. They had it on the beach by our the creek. It was way too hot for me so I ended up inside watching cinderella with Elliot. Granted, I realized taking steroids, and hydracodone on an empy stomach, plus heat is a bad idea. And being high as a kite meeting new people was fun :). I dont think anyone noticed.
Towards the end all the kids at the party got hot, so ended up inside with me. (we have a baby/kid friendly room in the house) 1 boy and 4 little girls later I was cracking up, yet having to control one very curious boy. He was wielding a large spoon trying to bang it on all the girls head. It got taken away quickly. Eric stepped in as he said to let it play out. Something about letting the kids work it out. Yes...lets let a 15 mo old, 2 yr old, 5 yr old, 6 yr old, and 7 yr old 'figure it out'. In the end we survived.
I was surprised in the end that the girls didnt say any fun comments to me. I was so hot my scarf had to come off my head for relief. Usually they comment on my lack of hair. Shockingly nothing this go around. I didnt even get any odd looks from the new people I met. I guess they are finally getting used to my random appearances without any head covering. Elliot still randomly wants to pet my head, so he still has a ways to go :)
So todays agenda? My first concert ever! Im going to see The Band Perry!!! That said this is the first night little man will be spending the night away from us and away from home. Despite all my hospital stays Ive always had Eric bring Elliot home and sleep here. Hes never been away from us at night before. Hes staying at his grandparents so I know he will be fine. Im super excited for a concert experience though! Im hoping that I can make it, may be drugged up to handle it and deal with my arm pain but hey Im sure Im not the first person to go to a concert in an 'altered state'. Ill have a full report in the morning!
(Ive been dropped a few notes lately. I greatly appreciate them. My reading is going along much better. Im also happy to answer any questions anyone has, I just need an email address to respond to. I will attach my regular email address to my profile on here. Or I can be reached thru Facebook. Thank you all)
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