I havent done a health update in a while, so I figured I had better give a quick update. My pain is at a much more manageable level. My new nerve meds have helped greatly. Im sleeping better (still waking a few times a night but hey Ill take what I can get). Im also able to do more and more. I got out and did a few errands today, but still had to come home after grocery shopping as I was exhausted. Thats to be expected as Ive not been doing much for a month. The more active I am the more my breathing and incision sites hurt, but I am seeing improvement.
Now my big plans are to try to do more and more daily. I want to get to where I can walk on the treadmill, but I wont be running any marathons anytime soon :) Im just ready to be able to start keeping up with Elliot. Im excited to start thinking of the possibilities of getting in shape again. Not being so tired and exhausted all of the time. So thats where we are today. Just trying to take it one day at a time and happy to finally start to see results.
May 30, 2013
May 28, 2013
Elliot is 1 Today!
His first little cries were a thing of wonder. I instantly started to tear up and cry. I remember a nurse asking me if I was okay, and me responding with "yes Im just so happy". He was a perfect little boy, and still is. I remember being in awe at the first sight of him. How could I have been carrying this little person for the past 9 months. Elliot was born just before midnight, yet I didnt sleep at all that night. I stayed up, holding and just watching my baby sleep.
This past year for us have been filled with many challenges and obstacles. Had we not had Elliot when we did we likely wouldnt have been able to have him at all. He is truly our miracle baby. Throughout our entire experience our calm little man had been awesome. From his first day on earth the nurses described him as the calmest baby in the nursery, and very content. To this day when hes angry it doesnt last long. He really just goes with the flow.
Now my baby is a year old toddler. I can hardly get him to cuddle with his mom anymore. He seems so much bigger than 1 year. To think a year ago he let me hold him all night. Now my boy would want to get down and run around the house. Instead of milk he's wanting "real" food, and has pretty much decided to refuse all meat. He wakes up happy and frequently calling for "Da Da" or "Ma Ma!!!". Hes trying to talk more and more. Hes a ways from really talking, but he will try to repeat some things. Elliot loves the outdoors. Spending time down at the creek with his dad is a blast, and he will cry if you take him out of the water before hes ready.
He is growing up so fast. We are just trying to enjoy our little man one day at a time. He had a really great weekend this weekend just hanging out with family and having fun. Now if time can only slow down....he just seems to be growing up so fast.
 |
| Elliot just a few hours old. |
 |
| Elliot Today. 1 Year later... |
May 22, 2013
Good News!
So I had a visit with my oncologist yesterday. I am officially in Remission!!! As of right now there is 'NED' or no evidence of disease. The sound of that brings tears to my eyes. As of right now our plan is to watch and wait. My next set of scans is in July. We will continue to have scans every 3 months to check for any cancer. If it pops back up we still have some avenues we can go (different chemos etc). So as of right now Im good to just live my life as normally as possible.
At the visit he also checked my surgical site, and everything is good. I mentioned my numbness in my fingers and hand, and my pain. He finally told me what likely caused it. Apparently I have a bruised nerve thats causing the numbness. He prescribed a nerve pain drug, that has worked wonders! It helps healing and pain. I slept for the first time all night last night, without pain! The nerve medicine will also help my back and chest pain, as the pain is due to the nerves cut in surgery. Im so happy that finally we have an answer to my pain issue! The only trick is I cant take it during the day, as it makes me drowsy. But hey, pain relief at night is something Ill take! I cannot tell you how good it felt to sleep last night.
Since my case is unusual (most people with stage 4 cancer in the brain dont live very long) we dont know what the chance is for the cancer to return. Normally the percentage is 100% rate of return. We have already established my case isnt 'normal' so that statistic doesn't apply to me. So for now? We just live our life, recover from surgery and watch/wait.
At the visit he also checked my surgical site, and everything is good. I mentioned my numbness in my fingers and hand, and my pain. He finally told me what likely caused it. Apparently I have a bruised nerve thats causing the numbness. He prescribed a nerve pain drug, that has worked wonders! It helps healing and pain. I slept for the first time all night last night, without pain! The nerve medicine will also help my back and chest pain, as the pain is due to the nerves cut in surgery. Im so happy that finally we have an answer to my pain issue! The only trick is I cant take it during the day, as it makes me drowsy. But hey, pain relief at night is something Ill take! I cannot tell you how good it felt to sleep last night.
Since my case is unusual (most people with stage 4 cancer in the brain dont live very long) we dont know what the chance is for the cancer to return. Normally the percentage is 100% rate of return. We have already established my case isnt 'normal' so that statistic doesn't apply to me. So for now? We just live our life, recover from surgery and watch/wait.
May 20, 2013
Stormy Fun
Tonight is the first night Im alone with the baby. Im technically not 'officially' allowed to pickup Elliot still. However, I figure as long as Im not doing it often, and not in pain we can manage. So tonight was the first night we tested me being able to put him to bed tonight. Of course it would have to be the night we have a Tornado Warning!
So I put Elliot to bed without incident. He was cranky, and didnt eat much dinner. Sleepy boy was ready for bed. I put him to bed, and he was asleep quickly. My joy was short lived. Next thing I know we are under a tornado warning, and told to take cover. So now I go back and get Elliot back out of bed, and into the bathroom. This is where we huncker down for cover. Just me, Elliot, and the dog. Elliot loved the party in the tub. Played with is bath toys (without water of course) and the dog while we listened to the weather on my laptop. As soon as the threat was over I put him back to bed. Shockingly he fell right back asleep like nothing occured.
As for now? I sit here keeping an eye on the weather. I think we are in the clear for now. Im still in moderate pain. Mainly it feels like I have a pinched nerve in my hand and arm thats killing me. Its bad enough to keep me from getting sleep. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow morning with my oncologist. Im looking forward to what he says. Should be interesting. Hopefully nothing but good news since surgery. All I can hope for is that he hasnt changed his mind on course of treatment. Which for now is just watch and wait.
As for me? Im going back to watching the wather. Good night.
So I put Elliot to bed without incident. He was cranky, and didnt eat much dinner. Sleepy boy was ready for bed. I put him to bed, and he was asleep quickly. My joy was short lived. Next thing I know we are under a tornado warning, and told to take cover. So now I go back and get Elliot back out of bed, and into the bathroom. This is where we huncker down for cover. Just me, Elliot, and the dog. Elliot loved the party in the tub. Played with is bath toys (without water of course) and the dog while we listened to the weather on my laptop. As soon as the threat was over I put him back to bed. Shockingly he fell right back asleep like nothing occured.
As for now? I sit here keeping an eye on the weather. I think we are in the clear for now. Im still in moderate pain. Mainly it feels like I have a pinched nerve in my hand and arm thats killing me. Its bad enough to keep me from getting sleep. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow morning with my oncologist. Im looking forward to what he says. Should be interesting. Hopefully nothing but good news since surgery. All I can hope for is that he hasnt changed his mind on course of treatment. Which for now is just watch and wait.
As for me? Im going back to watching the wather. Good night.
May 19, 2013
All About Elliot!
What a weekend! We had Elliots birthday party this early. Now his birthday isnt until the 28th, but due to the holiday weekend we planned it a bit early. The party theme was dinosaur! Little man had dinosaur cookies courtesy of Aunt Molly, a special Jurassic park jeep courtesy of Paw Paw, and all sorts of other goodies.
Now, the best part of a party is cake and presents. (along with seeing all our close family and friends) But the key to Mr. Elliot is he hates the sounds of plastic, paper, anything that sounds like a trash bag. So add that to unwrapping presents and he's not loving it. He screamed in fact. Yes, my kid is terrified of paper. So Eric and I had to unwrap his gifts for him. For the cake aspect, he wasnt thrilled with that either. He decided he didnt like his hands all gooey. So that was sort of a bust as well. In the end we all had fun.
Elliots party was a blast. We really enjoyed seeing all our family and friends. Elliot loved all his gifts. I also think everyone had a great time. Its always nice being able to get together with family.
We had one more first this weekend. Elliot got to go play in the creek with his cousins! He absolutely loved it. When Eric took him out due to Elliot being cold he screamed, and tried to get back down. He just splashed and splashed and was so excited playing in the water. Before you ask, yes we had him slathered in sunscreen, and he had a uv, rash guard swim set on. We made sure to cover all our bases.
While it was a fun weekend it was a long one for me. I overdid myself, and am now resting at home. The fun this weekend was totally worth my pain. I hurt, but am happy that we were able to have the party at all. It was an original worry of mine that I wouldnt be up to it.
Here are some pics from the weekend. Enjoy!
Now, the best part of a party is cake and presents. (along with seeing all our close family and friends) But the key to Mr. Elliot is he hates the sounds of plastic, paper, anything that sounds like a trash bag. So add that to unwrapping presents and he's not loving it. He screamed in fact. Yes, my kid is terrified of paper. So Eric and I had to unwrap his gifts for him. For the cake aspect, he wasnt thrilled with that either. He decided he didnt like his hands all gooey. So that was sort of a bust as well. In the end we all had fun.
Elliots party was a blast. We really enjoyed seeing all our family and friends. Elliot loved all his gifts. I also think everyone had a great time. Its always nice being able to get together with family.
We had one more first this weekend. Elliot got to go play in the creek with his cousins! He absolutely loved it. When Eric took him out due to Elliot being cold he screamed, and tried to get back down. He just splashed and splashed and was so excited playing in the water. Before you ask, yes we had him slathered in sunscreen, and he had a uv, rash guard swim set on. We made sure to cover all our bases.
While it was a fun weekend it was a long one for me. I overdid myself, and am now resting at home. The fun this weekend was totally worth my pain. I hurt, but am happy that we were able to have the party at all. It was an original worry of mine that I wouldnt be up to it.
Here are some pics from the weekend. Enjoy!
May 17, 2013
Its Friday
Its been a long week. My pain is getting better, but Im still in quite a bit of pain daily. Its hard to explain, but its a new pain. Before it was a sharp knife like pains, almost a burning sensation. Now, its a more dull deep to the bone constant pain. It will suddenly flare back to sharp knifes if I move a particular way.
The numbness in my right hand and fingers has not gotten any better. It feels as if a nerve is pinched almost somewhere in my shoulder. It travels all the way down my arm into my wrist. The more active I am (ex. walking or up a bit) the more numb my hand gets. It almost seems to travel. Talk about weird.
Due to all the pain, I didnt sleep well last night. I was up most of the night unable to get comfortable. Nights are always the worst for me. Im now off all the major pain killers. I didnt see any reason in continuing them when they arnt working anyway. I cant tell a difference. I would rather suffer without them than continue to take them with no result.
All this said, I have seem marked improvement in feeling better. My family has also noticed that I seem to be feeling better. Ill take what I can get. Am I in pain daily? Yes. Im ready for a day without pain. A day that I can start getting back to normal. I was told it can take a long time to be back 100%. The example they used was "you were filet like a fish. It takes time." This is totally true.
On a lighter note, we have Elliots birthday party tomorrow! We are having it a week early due to the holiday. (he was actually born memorial day last year.) Im happy to have a healthy baby. He did something new today. He waved bye all by himself no coaching needed. I happened to say "Bye Molly!" and looked over and saw little Elliot waving to her. Little stinker wont do it when we ask, but apparently on his own he will!! He keeps my spirits high.
As for me... Im logging off. Little man is asleep, and Im going to try to relax with an ice pack in my fluffy recliner. :)
The numbness in my right hand and fingers has not gotten any better. It feels as if a nerve is pinched almost somewhere in my shoulder. It travels all the way down my arm into my wrist. The more active I am (ex. walking or up a bit) the more numb my hand gets. It almost seems to travel. Talk about weird.
Due to all the pain, I didnt sleep well last night. I was up most of the night unable to get comfortable. Nights are always the worst for me. Im now off all the major pain killers. I didnt see any reason in continuing them when they arnt working anyway. I cant tell a difference. I would rather suffer without them than continue to take them with no result.
All this said, I have seem marked improvement in feeling better. My family has also noticed that I seem to be feeling better. Ill take what I can get. Am I in pain daily? Yes. Im ready for a day without pain. A day that I can start getting back to normal. I was told it can take a long time to be back 100%. The example they used was "you were filet like a fish. It takes time." This is totally true.
On a lighter note, we have Elliots birthday party tomorrow! We are having it a week early due to the holiday. (he was actually born memorial day last year.) Im happy to have a healthy baby. He did something new today. He waved bye all by himself no coaching needed. I happened to say "Bye Molly!" and looked over and saw little Elliot waving to her. Little stinker wont do it when we ask, but apparently on his own he will!! He keeps my spirits high.
As for me... Im logging off. Little man is asleep, and Im going to try to relax with an ice pack in my fluffy recliner. :)
May 13, 2013
Mother day!
Its hard to imagine now, not being a mom. I have almost been a mom for an entire year, and its changed my world. I would do anything for my son. I now know the depths of my own mothers love. I joke that I have the mommy hearing, but its true. I can hear him stirring in the mornings before hes truly awake. This morning I had the pleasure of waking up to "ma-ma....ma-ma" . It was a first time he's woken up and called. It was very sweet and made my day.
Elliot and Eric got me a great gift for mothers day! Seeds to plant flowers in my back yard. (we are working on re-landscaping it all) They are beautiful pink poofy flowers. With this gift means more yard work for Eric. :) They had to order the seeds, so Im looking forward to getting them any day now. (they ended up taking longer than expected) The morning of mothers day Eric had cinnamon rolls awaiting as well. Too sweet of a day.
Below- the flowers picked from my back yard, and Elliot staring out the door.
Elliot and Eric got me a great gift for mothers day! Seeds to plant flowers in my back yard. (we are working on re-landscaping it all) They are beautiful pink poofy flowers. With this gift means more yard work for Eric. :) They had to order the seeds, so Im looking forward to getting them any day now. (they ended up taking longer than expected) The morning of mothers day Eric had cinnamon rolls awaiting as well. Too sweet of a day.
Below- the flowers picked from my back yard, and Elliot staring out the door.
May 10, 2013
Its Friday!
Finally the end of another long week! Today we ventured out of the house on quite the adventure. In the hospital I entered a local news contest (via Facebook) and won a gift basket of baby formula and other goodies. We decided to go pickup my winnings today. Eric packed, up me and the baby for a trip to Fayetteville to the news studio to get my winnings. After trying to locate their new office, and finding no way in Eric put me back into the car while he attempted to get in by walking 3 flights of stairs. (which there was no way I could do). He lucked out and got in!
Eric made it back to the car and loaded a basket in the seat. I made a comment that that did not look like a basket of baby formula and goodies. He said nope! Apparently, instead I got a basket of assorted Dial soaps. NOT the Similac baby basket I was promised. I would not have ventured out today for soap. Free baby formula? Yes. Soap? nope. Oh well...its free. I cant really complain.
Elliot has been quite the ham lately. He is the only baby I know that LOVES spinach. He will scram and kick for more. If you dont feed him fast enough he will yell at you! I also think hes learning to say 'no!' earlier I was saying "no no!" and I got back a "NNNNNNNNNNNN" from Mr. Elliot. Thats as close to a 'no' as we have come, and he was being very deliberate about it.
The only problem with all the good company lately is we get to laughing (at elliot or various conversation). I cannot laugh without great pain. It hurts so bad. I enjoy all of the conversation though. I really do enjoy the great company. Im going to be spoiled after all of this. When I wont need the help anymore Im afraid Ill miss the company. I know there is a saying about laughter being a good medicine. While painful, it keeps my mind off of everything. When people leave I have a few hours alone while Eric is at work. It seems the most painful times are the night time hours. Without the daytime distractions this makes sense. Im sleeping better, so Im hoping we are about at that turn around for less pain, and more healing.
So to keep with the laughter theme of my post...Here is a picture of Elliot and his spinach. He had me and my mom cracking up with this look. He had it everywhere, and required a bath after this....
Eric made it back to the car and loaded a basket in the seat. I made a comment that that did not look like a basket of baby formula and goodies. He said nope! Apparently, instead I got a basket of assorted Dial soaps. NOT the Similac baby basket I was promised. I would not have ventured out today for soap. Free baby formula? Yes. Soap? nope. Oh well...its free. I cant really complain.
Elliot has been quite the ham lately. He is the only baby I know that LOVES spinach. He will scram and kick for more. If you dont feed him fast enough he will yell at you! I also think hes learning to say 'no!' earlier I was saying "no no!" and I got back a "NNNNNNNNNNNN" from Mr. Elliot. Thats as close to a 'no' as we have come, and he was being very deliberate about it.
The only problem with all the good company lately is we get to laughing (at elliot or various conversation). I cannot laugh without great pain. It hurts so bad. I enjoy all of the conversation though. I really do enjoy the great company. Im going to be spoiled after all of this. When I wont need the help anymore Im afraid Ill miss the company. I know there is a saying about laughter being a good medicine. While painful, it keeps my mind off of everything. When people leave I have a few hours alone while Eric is at work. It seems the most painful times are the night time hours. Without the daytime distractions this makes sense. Im sleeping better, so Im hoping we are about at that turn around for less pain, and more healing.
So to keep with the laughter theme of my post...Here is a picture of Elliot and his spinach. He had me and my mom cracking up with this look. He had it everywhere, and required a bath after this....
May 9, 2013
Bed time!
Last night I finally slept in an actual bed! My poor husband got home from work to find me woken up in tears. I was due for pain meds, and in severe pain. He got me my meds, and got me comfortable again. It was at that time we decided to test if I could actually sleep in bed. It was nice to stretch out. Ive been in a recliner for a few weeks now. I only managed to sleep a few short hours before I woke in pain again. Eric came in (he was afraid of jostling me, so slept on the couch) and gave me more pain meds, then I was asleep again. I still woke up early and once again, you guessed it, in pain. This time I hurt so bad I thought I was going to puke. I managed to get myself up, and moved back to the recliner.
The problem with sleeping is that I cant sleep on my left side due to my brain surgery. Its left the right side of my head to where it hurts to lay on that side for long period of time. Now my lung surgery is on my right side, so I cant lay there due to the chest tube wound, and the incision on my back. They got to my lung thru my back by the way. I cant sleep on my tummy since the chest tube was on my front, and that is where they cut my nerves and muscle to get pieces of my lung. Oh the lovely choices to sleep. It really is a chore sleeping. This is why the recliner works so well.
This morning has been filled with me huddled in a chair with an ice pack. (which seems to help numb everything) Its odd that the more pain Im in the more my hand is numb. So thats fun to type with. The perk to the bed is that I got to stretch out and that was a nice change. I just find it crazy that 2 weeks later Im still dealing with pain issues. Seems insane to me. We are simply taking it a day at a time, and sometimes 4 hours at a time (pain pill to pain pill) I also enjoy my daily visits from family. They help keep my mind off of things. Its always night time/morning that its the worst. Maybe its due to me sleeping and going long periods of time without moving, Whatever it is, we are working our way through it.
The problem with sleeping is that I cant sleep on my left side due to my brain surgery. Its left the right side of my head to where it hurts to lay on that side for long period of time. Now my lung surgery is on my right side, so I cant lay there due to the chest tube wound, and the incision on my back. They got to my lung thru my back by the way. I cant sleep on my tummy since the chest tube was on my front, and that is where they cut my nerves and muscle to get pieces of my lung. Oh the lovely choices to sleep. It really is a chore sleeping. This is why the recliner works so well.
This morning has been filled with me huddled in a chair with an ice pack. (which seems to help numb everything) Its odd that the more pain Im in the more my hand is numb. So thats fun to type with. The perk to the bed is that I got to stretch out and that was a nice change. I just find it crazy that 2 weeks later Im still dealing with pain issues. Seems insane to me. We are simply taking it a day at a time, and sometimes 4 hours at a time (pain pill to pain pill) I also enjoy my daily visits from family. They help keep my mind off of things. Its always night time/morning that its the worst. Maybe its due to me sleeping and going long periods of time without moving, Whatever it is, we are working our way through it.
May 8, 2013
Early wake up
Its been a rough night. Its now 4 am, and Im wide awake in pain. So far this idea of weaning off the narcotic pain meds isnt working well. It did teach me that apparently the other meds were working a bit better than I thought. Im now chilling with an ice pack on my side, and thats helping. Sucks to wake up groggily, try to remember where you are, and suddenly hurt really really badly. Its quite the wake up. The joys of being me.
Ive woken up quite a few times in the past few hours. Im still sooooo groggy. I have a feeling that Im already feeling the effects of getting out of the house yesterday. Car rides really hurt. A person really doesnt notice all the bumps in a road until you have something painful that hurts at every little movement. I travel with a pillow held to my chest/lung area, which helps. I just dont advise getting out often. So far the few times Ive gotten out since surgery I pay for it later in pain. Its always less painful to stay at home in the recliner. (that kinda sounds like a quote) :) I amuse myself...lol.
I forgot to mention, Elliot crawled up into my lap today. It was very sweet. I havent really gotten to hold my baby since Im not allowed to pick him up, and hes too wiggly for me to hold. Well today he crawled up into my lap and decided to take a nap!!! I loved it....and snapped a picture :)
Ive woken up quite a few times in the past few hours. Im still sooooo groggy. I have a feeling that Im already feeling the effects of getting out of the house yesterday. Car rides really hurt. A person really doesnt notice all the bumps in a road until you have something painful that hurts at every little movement. I travel with a pillow held to my chest/lung area, which helps. I just dont advise getting out often. So far the few times Ive gotten out since surgery I pay for it later in pain. Its always less painful to stay at home in the recliner. (that kinda sounds like a quote) :) I amuse myself...lol.
I forgot to mention, Elliot crawled up into my lap today. It was very sweet. I havent really gotten to hold my baby since Im not allowed to pick him up, and hes too wiggly for me to hold. Well today he crawled up into my lap and decided to take a nap!!! I loved it....and snapped a picture :)
May 7, 2013
Tuesday PM update
My chest clinic appointment went well! They took out my stitches, which surprisingly didnt hurt. I really expected it to hurt since my side is very sensitive. I also spoke to them about the numbness in my fingers and my pain. They are not concerned with the numbness right now. it is expected that my hand just resolves itself. As for my pain? Well there isnt any point of taking potent narcotics if they are not helping my pain. So they are taking me off of them and trying something else. Im going to be put on an anti-inflammatory, with a pain releiver at nights only. It cant hurt to try since Im already in pain as is. Getting off the pain relievers will also help my tummy issues. So it should be a win win.
Other than that Im doing okay. Im settled back into my recliner and resting. My mom just left after putting Elliot to bed for me. I managed to eat a sandwich for dinner tonight. Its the most Ive eaten all day. My appetite still hasnt returned. The doctor is insisting that I eat something small at least 3x a day. Thats going to be hard for me to do. I just have no appetite at all. With the pain and everything its hard to imagine eating with how I feel.
So thats the gist of everything. Everything looks good and Im healing well. Im to be expected for another 6 weeks of pain before I can do what I was normally. I see the doctor in 6 weeks for a clearance to go back to normal. Until then I just take it day by day.
Other than that Im doing okay. Im settled back into my recliner and resting. My mom just left after putting Elliot to bed for me. I managed to eat a sandwich for dinner tonight. Its the most Ive eaten all day. My appetite still hasnt returned. The doctor is insisting that I eat something small at least 3x a day. Thats going to be hard for me to do. I just have no appetite at all. With the pain and everything its hard to imagine eating with how I feel.
So thats the gist of everything. Everything looks good and Im healing well. Im to be expected for another 6 weeks of pain before I can do what I was normally. I see the doctor in 6 weeks for a clearance to go back to normal. Until then I just take it day by day.
Tuesday Early Update-
So Im sleeping better thanks to a new recliner. However, still battling pain issues. I have numbness in 3 fingers on my right hand. (makes typing difficult) Im planning on talking to the doctor about it when I see him today. I finally get to get my stitches out this afternoon! Im excited, but afraid its going to hurt. I think they waited too long to take them out. We shall see.
The pain meds really dont help me much (as Ive stated in previous posts). All they seem to do is cause me tummy troubles. I know not everyone wants to hear about this, but its to a point thats ridiculous and kind of funny to me. Im now on laxitives, stool softeners, coffee, activia yogurt and anything else that can 'help' my tummy problem.(aka constipation) Apparently this is a side effect of the pain meds. So I have surgery pain added with 'tummy' pain. Its to the point that I hurt so bad Im still not really eating. I know I need to eat, but its just so difficult when I hurt all the time. Crazy to think that just a few months ago the Yervoy caused me diarrhea....and now I have the opposite issue.
So my sweet Elliot crawled into my lap this morning and took a nap. I havent been able to pick him up, so I was in heaven. He just wanted some mommy time. My little man is so active these days, getting him to stop for a second to even give me a hug is hard. I relished in the fact he napped on me. When I do manage to get up he clings to my leg and 'walks' with me.
Im not sure what Id do without Eric and family these days. Eric has to work and take care of me and a baby. I still cant really do much other than sit. I cant even lift the coffe pitcher to pour my coffee. I also cannot pickup anything off the floor or bend very well. So Eric has to help me with almost everything I do. Poor guy, I bet hes ready for me to be healthy so I can help out. (not that hes complained). Im personally ready to be able to sleep in the same bed as my hubby again. I spend 99% of my days in a recliner holding a pillow to my chest/side lung area. We had the brilliant idea to use my boppy pillow since it wraps around me. We had to find it in Elliots baby stuff. I havent used it since I stopped nursing.
Ill post again tonight with an update of how the doctors appointment goes. Hopefully, they will cause as little pain as possible :)
The pain meds really dont help me much (as Ive stated in previous posts). All they seem to do is cause me tummy troubles. I know not everyone wants to hear about this, but its to a point thats ridiculous and kind of funny to me. Im now on laxitives, stool softeners, coffee, activia yogurt and anything else that can 'help' my tummy problem.(aka constipation) Apparently this is a side effect of the pain meds. So I have surgery pain added with 'tummy' pain. Its to the point that I hurt so bad Im still not really eating. I know I need to eat, but its just so difficult when I hurt all the time. Crazy to think that just a few months ago the Yervoy caused me diarrhea....and now I have the opposite issue.
So my sweet Elliot crawled into my lap this morning and took a nap. I havent been able to pick him up, so I was in heaven. He just wanted some mommy time. My little man is so active these days, getting him to stop for a second to even give me a hug is hard. I relished in the fact he napped on me. When I do manage to get up he clings to my leg and 'walks' with me.
Im not sure what Id do without Eric and family these days. Eric has to work and take care of me and a baby. I still cant really do much other than sit. I cant even lift the coffe pitcher to pour my coffee. I also cannot pickup anything off the floor or bend very well. So Eric has to help me with almost everything I do. Poor guy, I bet hes ready for me to be healthy so I can help out. (not that hes complained). Im personally ready to be able to sleep in the same bed as my hubby again. I spend 99% of my days in a recliner holding a pillow to my chest/side lung area. We had the brilliant idea to use my boppy pillow since it wraps around me. We had to find it in Elliots baby stuff. I havent used it since I stopped nursing.
Ill post again tonight with an update of how the doctors appointment goes. Hopefully, they will cause as little pain as possible :)
May 4, 2013
Saturday May 4th.
The morning started out okay. Woke in pain as usual and slowly got around. Today is my sister in laws birthday! I was hoping to be able to make it to her lunch party, but I didnt have high hopes. I managed to make it to Fayetteville square to eat pizza. Ill admit I cried on the walk to the restaurant. The car ride was brutal. I felt every bump in the road. Then the walk (which wasnt far) about killed me. Then my nightmare began. A crowded place where there was multiple opportunities for people to hit me in the back. I was a nervous wreck. Finally I swapped seats and managed to get a seat with my back to the wall. I made it thru lunch but just barely. I realized me coming out was a huge mistake.
Dont get me wrong. I love spending time with my family. Seeing everyone at lunch was great. I just wasnt the best company. I made the effort, however, and was there! On the way home I was in for a surprise. My amazing father in law stopped and got us a new leather recliner. He discovered ours at the house was on its last legs and causing me issues to sleep in, and got me something much more comfy. The gesture still brings 'happy' tears to my eyes. Finally a more comfy place to sleep. Ill take any bit of extra comfort at this point. Seeing as Im still in pain 99% of my day. I cannot thank my in-laws enough.
Later my mother then made us a dinner of veggie lasagna. It was amazing. She knew that when I do eat, meat isnt high on my craving list. Im blessed to have such great parents, and in laws. They continue to amaze me with their generosity. How many people go out of their way to find a new recipe, and make it knowing that it was something I would eat. (thats out of the ordinary!?)
Now, Im in my new comfy recliner curled up in my pjs, and and ice pack. Its still agony when I breath, but now Ill be able to sleep better! I discovered today that ice on my chest/ lung area really helps the pain. Ice packs are my new heaven. Tomorrow, I plan on not leaving this recliner. You can find me right here, ice pack, feet up, slightly loopy from my meds. :) I hope everyone else has a great sunday....
Dont get me wrong. I love spending time with my family. Seeing everyone at lunch was great. I just wasnt the best company. I made the effort, however, and was there! On the way home I was in for a surprise. My amazing father in law stopped and got us a new leather recliner. He discovered ours at the house was on its last legs and causing me issues to sleep in, and got me something much more comfy. The gesture still brings 'happy' tears to my eyes. Finally a more comfy place to sleep. Ill take any bit of extra comfort at this point. Seeing as Im still in pain 99% of my day. I cannot thank my in-laws enough.
Later my mother then made us a dinner of veggie lasagna. It was amazing. She knew that when I do eat, meat isnt high on my craving list. Im blessed to have such great parents, and in laws. They continue to amaze me with their generosity. How many people go out of their way to find a new recipe, and make it knowing that it was something I would eat. (thats out of the ordinary!?)
Now, Im in my new comfy recliner curled up in my pjs, and and ice pack. Its still agony when I breath, but now Ill be able to sleep better! I discovered today that ice on my chest/ lung area really helps the pain. Ice packs are my new heaven. Tomorrow, I plan on not leaving this recliner. You can find me right here, ice pack, feet up, slightly loopy from my meds. :) I hope everyone else has a great sunday....
May 3, 2013
TGIF
Whew what a week. Its hard to believe that Ive been home from the hospital for 7 days. Home all the time and still battling pain issues. Im going to be honest, this totally sucks. Last night I attempted to sleep laying down, and woke 2 hours later in great pain. I couldnt breath or talk. I was panting trying to get air. I managed to get sitting up, almost passing out in the process. Finally I was able to catch my breath. So once more, laying down isnt an option. Im stuck sitting 99% of the time in a recliner. It doesnt really seem to be getting any better. I meet with the doctor next week to get my stitches out. We will have another pain talk at that time. They said I just may have to deal with this for weeks due to damaging some nerves in surgery. There just isnt much more thay can do pain medicine wise. I just have to take it slow, and stay sitting most of the time. I get up and shower, and occasionally go to the kitchen etc, but the rest of the time Im sitting. My appetite hasnt improved either. Im still not able to eat much.
We h ave a few plans this weekend with family, but Im not sure Ill be able to attend. Car rides are also painful. I havent decided yet if Ill stay home or attempt to get out. We will just have to see. If you asked me right now, I dont feel up to it.
Elliot got to play with his cousins again today. He loved running around with them. After they come to play hes always a worn out little boy. He went right to bed! No fussing or anything! I was shocked. The poor guy still doesnt understand why momma doesnt get to cuddle with him. It breaks my heart when he walks up to me wanting picked up. Soon enough Ill get my cuddles again. For now Im just having to deal with it. Luckly hes gotten extra cuddles from his daddy, grandparents, and aunts. Plenty of people are willing to cuddle such a cute little man! :) Im truly blessed for such help.
We h ave a few plans this weekend with family, but Im not sure Ill be able to attend. Car rides are also painful. I havent decided yet if Ill stay home or attempt to get out. We will just have to see. If you asked me right now, I dont feel up to it.
Elliot got to play with his cousins again today. He loved running around with them. After they come to play hes always a worn out little boy. He went right to bed! No fussing or anything! I was shocked. The poor guy still doesnt understand why momma doesnt get to cuddle with him. It breaks my heart when he walks up to me wanting picked up. Soon enough Ill get my cuddles again. For now Im just having to deal with it. Luckly hes gotten extra cuddles from his daddy, grandparents, and aunts. Plenty of people are willing to cuddle such a cute little man! :) Im truly blessed for such help.
May 2, 2013
Wednesday Fun!
I have 5 more weeks until I can pick up my son. Its torture! I can hardly pick up a glass full of liquid let alone a 20 lb toddler. That said we had to get creative on a system to have someone with me at all times. Since Im a stay at home mom, Elliot doesnt got to daycare. So until then, we've come up I can care for my own son we created a system. Eric swapped shifts at work to work the night shift. That means hes with me 90% of the time Elliot is awake, thus handling all baby duties. When Eric leaves for work, his sister, my mom, dad, or aunt step in and help me with elliot until he goes to bed. Once in bed? This kid sleeps 12 hours so Im good again until Eric gets home from work. I truly couldnt do this without my family.
Im still in quite a bit of pain daily. Its better than it was but I still spend most of the day in pain, and sitting. Its agony to stand up and even walk. I can talk a lot better so my throat is healing! Im weak and require quite a bit of help for mot things. Even getting a shower and dressed is a family event. Im just sore, and weak. Other than all that Im okay I guess. I attempted to sleep in bed last night, and couldnt do it. Laying down caused so much pain I was in tears and shaking. Eric had to all but carry me back to the living room recliner. Sitting in that chair is the only thing that hurts less. Im never pain free, just hurt less. The doc says its due to cutting thru some nerves etc. They cant do much more for my pain other than the stuff Im already on.
Enough about me...Molly brought my nieces and bubbles by to keep Elliot busy yesterday! He had a blast outside with the girls. Now that hes walking he's enjoying a bunch of new things. Mainly chasing is cousins around and creating chaos. Molly slathered sunscreen on them and had them outside playing. It was sweet to watch. Here are some pics from the event-
Im still in quite a bit of pain daily. Its better than it was but I still spend most of the day in pain, and sitting. Its agony to stand up and even walk. I can talk a lot better so my throat is healing! Im weak and require quite a bit of help for mot things. Even getting a shower and dressed is a family event. Im just sore, and weak. Other than all that Im okay I guess. I attempted to sleep in bed last night, and couldnt do it. Laying down caused so much pain I was in tears and shaking. Eric had to all but carry me back to the living room recliner. Sitting in that chair is the only thing that hurts less. Im never pain free, just hurt less. The doc says its due to cutting thru some nerves etc. They cant do much more for my pain other than the stuff Im already on.
Enough about me...Molly brought my nieces and bubbles by to keep Elliot busy yesterday! He had a blast outside with the girls. Now that hes walking he's enjoying a bunch of new things. Mainly chasing is cousins around and creating chaos. Molly slathered sunscreen on them and had them outside playing. It was sweet to watch. Here are some pics from the event-
May 1, 2013
Melanoma Awareness
May is Melanoma awareness moth! It always surprises me how many people dont realize the risk or seriousness of melanoma. I know that 'understanding' and living it are two different things. It just seems our society puts such a hold on being a tanned beauty, that people just think that "it wont happen to me". As for me? Im proud to be glow in the dark pale. Im not willing to risk the sun exposure for a tan.
Also along with the cancer that can result from melanoma, ther are the scars left. I joke that my docs play "slice and dice" with my skin. I all reality? They do! I have scars on my arms, and now my back looks like I lost a fight with a sharp object. It just blows my mind how people justify going tanning, and putting themselvs in harms way. So this month is awareness month. I hope that at least one person hears my story and thinks twice about keeping their skin healthy.
Also along with the cancer that can result from melanoma, ther are the scars left. I joke that my docs play "slice and dice" with my skin. I all reality? They do! I have scars on my arms, and now my back looks like I lost a fight with a sharp object. It just blows my mind how people justify going tanning, and putting themselvs in harms way. So this month is awareness month. I hope that at least one person hears my story and thinks twice about keeping their skin healthy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)