Family Weekend

This weekend is my nieces birthday. She LOVES puppies. Her awesome momma held a puppy themed party for her today. She had all the kiddos wear puppy ears, and they each got to 'adopt a stuffed dog'. The birthday girls cake was served in a cute dog bowl, along with cupcakes, and bone cookies. It was quite the event.

I also had the pleasure of having dinner with my side of the family this weekend. My dad just got back from a trip to china. He got to finally see Elliot in action crawling everywhere. My nephews quickly realized that elliot will try to follow them around. (they didnt seem too sure of the baby). That said, we have a new addition coming to the family in October! My little sister is pregnant with her 3rd baby! Her 2 boys are going to be in for a surprise...

So far we've had a good weekend. Tiresome, but good. Elliot is going thru a growth spurt so is up every 3 hours to eat. Im still itching like crazy. Best described as feeling as if my skin is burning. Still having headaches on and off, but so far nothing some extra sleep cant fix.

Holy headache batman!

Had a massive headache yesterday and into late last night. Havent felt pain like that in a while. (you know mind numbing pain in my head) Eric and I were worried, but after finally getting to sleep, this morning its much better. Had it continued we likely would be at the doctor this morning. So for now keeping a close eye on everything. Goes without saying we worry about headaches. Seeing as the last mind numbing headache was my brain bleeding due to a tumor.

Still extremely itchy this morning. Red blotches on my arms and legs. Not quite able to call it a full blown rash yet, but its not going away. I want to stay off the meds needed for it as long as possible. Just one more thing to introduce into my system. Constantly having to remind myself "DONT SCRATCH!!!! It just makes it worse!" lol.

I think the tumor on my lung is back to its antics. Worke up with pain in my right lung. If you remember it hurts on and off. Today is an on day. Just another thing to keep our eye on.

My reading is still off. Some days worse than others. Yesterday, for example, if the word started with a 'B' all I saw was 'batman'. Go figure. This brain reading mess works in mysterious ways. But thats a glimpse into how I see things when I attempt to read. My mind says its seeing one word, when I KNOW thats not the word written. Makes for an interesting reading attempt though.

Im signing off for now. Just wanted to give a quick update on how Im doing.

Doctor Day!

Today was doctor day! Shockingly this was the shortest visit yet. They wanted to check on my side effects, and how I was doing with everything. So far, looking good! Powering through my side effects to the last treatment. My last Yervoy treatment is set for next week. Woohoo!!! Now we are woking on getting the ball rolling on the next step in our journey.

On an exciting note- we qualified for a medical assistance fund that helps melanoma patients with Yervoy treatments. (our oncologist office automatically applies for this as Yervoy is pricey at about $45,000 per treatment) We didnt realize this, and went to make a payment to discover that our account was almost paid in full. SHOCK!!! This is great news!!! We didnt even realize that the paperwork had been filed.

Now here is a schedule of our next steps. Unlucky for me, they are making me wait a few weeks between treatment and my next set of scans.

April 15th- PET scan and MRI of brain
April 16th- Appt with docs to read scans, and apt with chest doctor about lung tumor. My oncologist will be present with the chest doc. This is where they will talk about our options and how to proceed. Right now best case? surgery.

We dont really know anything for sure until we get the results of my scans. We could be looking at just surgery, or surgery and chemo, or radiation. Basically we dont know until we see whats been going on these past few weeks. We are crossing our fingers its still just the one lung tumor. The waiting is what I cannot stand.

On a side note- we are on the look out for the signs of a rash. I am red and splotchy and itchy ALL OVER!!! (fun side effect) so far no rash. If rash pops up then more steroids my way. I just keep telling myself "powering thru! 1 week till last treatment."

Spring Forward

Ahh daylight savings time. Spring is here now that we have officially moved our clocks forward by 1 hour. I keep having to remind myself that our schedules have changed. See, Elliot and I have a set daily routine. He goes down for naps almost at the same time daily, its like clock work! So now that the time has changed its screwed with him a bit. :) all takes getting used to.

So nothing really eventful this weekend. Im having some skin issues due to the treatments. Itching all over. Its like a bad rash that just wont go away. Scratch it and its worse! So my goal is trying to ignore it entirely. If it gets worse theyll just put me on more meds. Surely I can manage a few more weeks without that. I have a doc appointment tuesday for an update. Then my last treatment is the next week. Its getting close to my next pet scan and surgery! Time is starting to really fly.

Im having to constantly remind myself to be happy with what I do have, vs with what I dont. Im kind of struggling with that right now. Its stupid things really, and honestly kind of vain. You know, the whole 'my hair isnt how Id like it', or 'the steroids make me gain weight, so my jeans dont fit right', or 'my skins blotchy and red due to crazy itching.' Its all dumb and piddly in the long run. Big picture! - Gaining weight is good at this point! Loosing is bad! Hair will grow back, or long enough to have a professional fix it. Skin will go back to normal. These are all temporary problems. I sholdnt let them have any impact on my life. Its sad that our society is so bent on looking a certian way. We try so hard to fit a mold thats just not ment for all of us. We should in fact focus on simply being healthy, happy, and living each day to its full potential.

Okay my rant for tonight is over. I have a fun post for you guys tomorrow! As for me? Im going to bed.

Status Update

Today was an okay day. Im having some side effects from the last infusion. Nothing new to report on that front. Just the same ole same ole. Its being managed with medications right now, so its tolerable. Im crossing my fingers that it stays that way. I just weaned off of the steroids, and am hoping to stay that way. Sometimes its a toss up of whats worse, side effects of the Yervoy, or side effects of the drugs to help ease the side effects o f Yervoy.

Currently, my next scheduled appointment is next week. This is always up for change depending on how Im feeling, or any new side effects. After that, the next week is my last infusion. Then the real fun begins! Im already getting nervous about the last infusion, and the next set of scans. Ive had 12 weeks to dwell on the next scan, and surgery. Im just ready to get it all over with. Nights are becoming sleepless thinking about it all. So Im trying my best not to dwell on it, and focus my attention on other things.

Elliot said "No" today, along with "Yoga". It had me cracked up. Granted, I couldnt get him to do it again. He just crawled up to a cabinet hes not supposed to be around and goes "NO" then turns to look at me. Quite surprising I might say. Later he was doing the yoga pose 'downward dog'. So I proceeded to ask him "baby, are you doing yoga?" I swear, he looked down and said "Yoga?" Plain as day! Eric even managed to hear it from the other room!! So hes starting to repeat things. Maybe it was a fluke, but it was funny. Now I really have to watch what I say if this trend is going to continue.

Thats all I have for tonight. I will leave you with a picture of my baby trying to eat my camera....

To my Mom

Today is my moms birthday. She is the most amazing woman I know. I aspire to be the mom she was. My story with cancer actually starts with her. I have no doubt I wouldnt be where I was today had she not done what she did.

 I was 15 and she noticed a mole on my back that bothered her. At the time we were at a water park, and she was putting sunscreen on my back. I told her it was nothing, and we went on. Lucky for me, she didnt forget about it. When we got home she set up an appointment with our family doctor. I threw a fit, saying there was no reason to go blah blah (teenage drama). She insisted and off to the doctor we went. The doctor took a look and said it was nothing to worry about. Mom had other ideas. She said it bothered her and demanded he remove said mole. Bless his heart, he did what she asked. Lucky for me he did. A few weeks later my world changed forever. That was when the lab results came back, and I had melanoma. This was in 2000, and my first start at this long journey/ fight. 

The saying is "mother knows best." In my case yes, mom knew best. To this day she is one of my biggest supporters. I havent always appreciated her as much as I should. Today is her day. There is nothing I can say, do, or get her that truly shows how much I love her. 

She had surgery on her foot friday, and is at home recovering today. (all went great). Eric, Elliot and I are bringing her presents and lunch from wherever she wants. Today is about her! So mom....HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! 

9 Month Old Baby

Time flies when you're having fun! My little man is now 9 months old (well as of the 28th, Im a bit behind on my post). He seems to be growing more and more every day. Elliot is truly a blessing in our lives. While having a little one at times isnt easy, he can brighten anyones day in an instant with his smile or any of his antics.

This month little man started to crawl! At a time where I was very ill, he became mobile. Now nothing in my house is safe. His little knees are red from all the running around he does. He can go pretty quick. He also learned how to associate the words Ma Ma, and Da da this month. His favorite thing to do is go "MA MA!!!" then promptly crawl as fast as he can in the opposite direction for me to chase him, giggling the entire way. (hes quite the little comedian) He knows exactly where his boundaries are, and what makes me get up and go get him. Its quite amusing....

Here are some of little mans favorites this month:

Rasins!!! not only can he pick them up, but they are squishy!
Spoons...the better to throw liquid food at mom with!
Pears
Puffs- the baby food that melts in your moth. He will chow down on these.
The singing airplane. He loves to find it and make the thing sing while rocking.
Hanging upside down. He will throw himself backwards while we hold him so he can hang.
Shoes- the boy will go straight towards any shoes.
Outside- he will stare out the window all day. He loves to watch the trees, or go outside.

My little man is growing up quickly. All too soon he will be walking, and talking. Im truly blessed in the family department. I have an amazing cool headed, chill baby boy. Not much phases him. He goes to the doctor with me and will sit patiently for 2-3 hours and the entire time is calm and chill. The nurses and doctors love him. They are always surprised at how calm he is.