Say what!?

I wasn't expecting the new meds until next week. They arrived today. Im not to start them until I get the all clear from my surgeon next week, but they are here. I finally got to read all gritty side effects. A person never reads those thinking they will actually get one or all side effects. Too bad I know different. The last therapy they had me on I had every single one of the possible side effect. 

As I read the possible effects the more worried and scared I get. The likelihood of the side effects are low, according to the doc. These are some serious effects. Back to ulcures, eyesight loss, weakness and more. The meds are covered in yellow with CHEMO DRUG written all over them and the packaging. Its going to be very hard for me to start this med. The only reason Im trying it is because I promised. I promised my family and myself I wouldn't give up. If there is an option I would try it. Ive just been they so much pain lately jumping back in is scary. More pain is scary. 

So far I expect the doc to clear me. Im off the extra pain meds and feeling pretty good. I still have a little pain at my incision sites. Im also able to sleep laying flat now. Bending over still is a bit of a stretch, and I can't lift anything heavy. Overall I have healed quite well so far. Next week is wham all the new stuff starts. Radiation, Chemo etc. 

I have no plans except to rest up and work on healing. Eating better has always been a priority in my house. We are keeping that up by going more natural diet. Since I can't eat much in one sitting its lots of little meals a day. Fruit, veggies etc.  Feeling good on the inside helps me feel good all over.