Here we are again..

Wide awake in the early morning hours, and can't sleep. Thank you steroids. Not to mention thank you munchies. Not that Id even call this munchies…all out HUNGRY!!! I hate it. They added the steroids back to help my head, yet now I can't sleep, Im eating like crazy, thus gaining the steroid weight look back, and now my muscles are starting to get weak again (walking). RAWR!!!

All this progress we made with my energy, and strength coming back I feel starting to fade again. Im also starting to get overwhelmed a bit. As a side effect of my head. (they say is normal) the pain is worst around noise and people. Its as if all of the sudden the room is too gig, my head starts swimming, sharp pressure is all over my forehead and behind my eyes, not to mention my eyesight starts to go white, and I just loose it. I wanna cry, yell, scream, and bury myself into a hole. Granted I guess anyone would when the pain hits like that. The nurse says is overstimulation and how the brain tumors work….Point is for me?? Its happening more and more. I snapped at my mom the other day and felt TERRIBLE for it. Last night? My awesome hubby. So now they are trying a new mix of pills with a slight dose of anxiety drugs. Ive hit that point of anxiety.

I don't care what you call it as long as we get my crazy under control. I don't enjoy feeling that way. Granted I don't enjoy any of this, but Im trying to take it into stride.

I got out of the house for a bit yesterday! I went out with mom shopping. I didn't get anything (not the reason I went) I just enjoyed walking store to store outside in the 60 degree weather. It was lovely. The short walk wore me out, but after all this ice and snow I couldn't resist a stroll in the warmth. Once home, we had a quick play date with another couples little girl. She is just 3 months older than my little guy. They had a blast playing with toys. She's not so much into the RC car toy that Elliot had to play with, but they did bond over the love of goldfish, and elmo. It was quite the kiddie play date. :)

So thats it for now. Tomorrow/Today I try again. This time we are going to get some healthy 1am snacks into the pantry. My 2am wakeup calls are currently fueled by little debbie snacks. :) While yes I threw away my gummie worms, sweet tarts, sour patch kids, I kept the good stuff. I can limit myself on little debbies……not so much the other stuff. I was eating that daily by the bag. Little debbies much easier to portion control. (not to mention Eric stacked most the boxes too high, so it requires me really asking) lol. No hiding food! Good night, and thanks for letting me rant.

I did find a few good things at my parents this weekend…..

Me, My sister, and Elliot Christmas 2013.

Found the nightlight to my nursery when I was a kid! Totally just wrote my blog by creepy clown light!