Update

Every day is a challenge. I struggle to communicate. I see hallucinations. I have a lot of pain most days. I don't really sleep at night.  To cope with all this and to help with my anxiety, I clean. Lots of cleaning.  I try to do small activities to keep my mind off things. Cleaning allows me to do small things that help me feel productive and like I accomplished something during the day. Since I am on steroids, I have been trying to workout more and more since they are the meds that put me in a wheelchair last time. The steroids rob muscle strength from my arms and legs. They also interrupt my sleep cycle. 

We saw the hospice nurse recently and she increased my morphine that I am on. She told me that brain tumors are notorious for the pain they cause. Its something I am going to have to deal with for the rest of my life, however long that is. She also told us the timeline we are looking at. "Weeks, not months" is her estimate. She bases this on the fact that only a few weeks ago I was in relative good health. Then the cancer came roaring back. Anything could happen between now and weeks from now. Everyone's cancer is different. The things I have on my side are my age and that my cancer has done odd things in the past. In the past, I have had tumors grow then stop suddenly. There is a chance that what is going on in my brain could do that now but the odds are of course against us. 

No matter what is happening tumor wise I am experiencing something that we really never thought we would have to deal with. My oncologist told us a long time ago that when we got whole brain radiation treatment that this would cause problems for me a year to two years in the future. At the time, we said we would do anything to make it that long. Now that we are here, I am having cognitive slow down. The basics of it are the increased confusion after my brain has been battling cancer for 2 years. At the time we really didn't have a choice, I was given less than 30 days and here I am today. It seems like it was the right thing to do.

Eric and I are going to try to post more often. Right now our lives are spent trying to enjoy each day and play with our little boy. We have been enjoying the simple things like playing with Elliot's new Hot Wheels cars. Elliot loves them and takes them with him everywhere he goes.

I want to thank everyone that has donated to our website www.gofundme.com/cassvscancer . We are completely blown away by the amount donated. We really can't thank you all enough for the support we have received. If there is something positive to come from all of this, it has made us very aware of our friends and family and how much we love them all. We also can't help but see all the people that don't even know us but are helping us. Words can't describe how thankful we are to all of you.