We got the information back on my newest set of scans. There is no evidence of cancer below my neck. While that is good news it really doesn't matter now that it is growing again in my brain. Currently, my doctor has his research team looking for any clinical trial that could help. The problem is that when you have cancer in the brain there aren't that many trials available. Most cancer trials want some big tumors in the body to easily see if their drugs are working. Once its in your brain it is usually to late at that point to do anything. The other problem I have is that it is in the lining of my brain. There are even fewer trials for that. My hope for any trial is dwindling which means that when I see the doctor again on Tuesday, I will most likely hear the words hospice again.
The good news on that is that we would receive the same hospice nurse we did last time and we liked her. She also lives close by to us.
As for how I'm feeling lately, horrible. I wake up in the morning with massive headaches that rival the headache I received when my first tumor burst 2 years ago. Eric has to keep me thoroughly drugged to even have a normal day and I am back on steroids to reduce the swelling in my brain. I am always in pain no matter what drugs I take but usually I can get it down to a manageable level. There are times that the only thing I can do is lay in bed and cry because the drugs aren't working fast enough or its just a really bad headache.
If the headaches weren't bad enough, I am also having trouble reading and speaking. Sometimes I cant get the right words out when talking. I can't end sentences and can't answer questions sometimes. My reading has also been getting worse. While my reading was never great after the first tumor I was managing to get better. Eric has been pushing me to read more books even though it takes me a long time to read one page or even read a children book to Elliot. Now my reading is almost impossible.
I want to thank everyone for the words of support in comments or private messages to me. Some of you have asked if we had a donation site. We finally decided to set one up after the many requests to want to help. We appreciate everyone's support. You can find it at www.gofundme.com/cassvscancer
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